Toddlers: 1

Parents: 0

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“Everlee, don’t throw your blanket in the air.”

“I JUST LIKE TO PARTTTTYYYYYYYY!”

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“Ev, be nice to him.”

“HE’S MY BROTHER!”

“Yes, that’s why you have to be nice to him.”

“He LOVES me! He’s sooooo cuuuuuuuuuuute!”

“Then stop squeezing his tummy!”

“BUT IT’S SO FAT FOR MY SQUEEZINS’!”

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“Mom, can I watch the Minion movie?”

“Yes.”

*starts sobbing hysterically*

“Why are you crying?!”

*stops for a second and thinks…*

“I don’t know. I thought you were going to say no.”

*starts crying again*

“So you are crying because I said yes to what you wanted to do? That makes no sense.”

“YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO SAY NO!”

“I can’t win with you, can I, Ev?”

*shrugs shoulders*

“Nope.”

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“Ev, go upstairs and bring down your cup of milk and put it in the refrigerator.”

“YOU ALWAYS TELL ME TO DO THINGS THAT RUIN MY DAY!!!”

*fist pump in the air*

“Ok. Be right back.“     *walks upstairs*

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“Everlee, what are you doing?”

“”What?”

“What are you doing?!”

“WHAT?”

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!”

“GOOOOOOD!”

“No, not HOW are you doing, WHAT are you doing?!”

*Ev bursts out laughing*

“I like ya, Mom.”

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“Hey, Mom, I have something to tell you.”

“What is it?”

“Well, I took my finger like DIS and I pointed it out like DIS and I POKED it right in to Leyton’s eye.”

“Everlee, STOP POKING YOUR BROTHER!”

“BUT HE HAS TWO EYES SO ONE OF THEM WILL STILL WORK!”

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“Mom, can I have this peanut butter cup?”

“No. It’s too early for candy. Let’s have breakfast instead.”

“No, thank you. I’ll just have this peanut butter cup.”

“Everlee, I said NO.”

“BUT I LIKE CHOCOLATE!”

“Well, too bad. I like Jimmy Johns but I don’t get that in the mornings.”

*Toddler opens fridge and pulls out leftover Jimmy Johns I was unaware was in there*

“Here you go. You eat this Jimmy Johns and I’ll just eat this delicious candy.”

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“Ev, you have to eat more dinner before you can get down;”

*opens gaping mouth, crosses one eye and freezes like a statue*

“Everlee, EAT!”

*still not moving*

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“Ev, you need to at least put some underwear on.”

“No, I’m fine. I’ll just be SUPER naked.”

“No, come here. Underwear. Now.”

“UGH!” *shuffles over and steps one foot in to undies*

“I just tooted.”

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“I’m on the phone. You need to wait a minute.”

*points her finger to the person on the phone and makes a megaphone with her hands*

“YOU USED TO CALL ME ON MY CELL PHOOOONE. LATE NIGHT WHEN YOU NEEEED MYYYY MOM!“

*Walks away*

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“DO NOT STEP ON YOUR BROTHER!”

“BUT HE PULLED MY HAIR!”

“He doesn’t know any better, Ev. He’s a baby!”

“WELL HE BETTER FIGURE IT OUT!”

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“Mom.”

“Yes?”

“Mom.”

“What?”

“MOM!”

“WHAT, EVERLEE?!?”

“Nothing.”

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“Pick me up.”

“I can’t right now. I’m working.”

“Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease.”

“Not right now, Ev. I have to finish this work.”

“But you ALWAYS pick me up!”

“Not when I’m busy, Everlee.”

“Pick me up!”

“I SAID NO.”

“I SAID YES!”

“I SAID TIMEOUT!!!”

“AAAAHHHHHH WHY?!? This is TERRIBLE! JUST TERRIBLE!!!”

*Goes to timeout*