Welp, I caved. There you have it, folks. I let the pressure of the fellow man convince me that my thoughts were SO IMPORTANT that they deserve their own private space out here in internet land. My word vomit and mundane daily activites, albeit inappropriate and hilarious at times, can now be forever floating out in ‘the cloud’ for all to see. That damn ‘cloud’, anyway. And when my two lunatic offspring grow up and learn to use Google, they will forever be able to see that Mommy publicly humiliated herself time and time again for the enjoyment of the general public.

“Mom, did you REALLY split your pants on three separate occasions, all in public settings?” Why yes….yes I did.

“Mom, how is it even possible that you shut all of your hair in the car door while going through the bank drive through?” I don’t know, turds, it just happened.

So…despite my better judgement, here it goes. I’m a 30 year mom of two tiny crazies. I am far from perfect, I’m widely inappropriate, and I laugh when my 3 year old spawn sings songs about booty calls. However, I’ll start this blog with the hopes that others can enjoy just one small minute or two free from the stresses of their own lives by laughing at the stresses in mine. Seems legit, right?

Now, someone pour me a glass of wine…